Pictures from Brittany Kunza

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Arrival in Manhattan...And David Letterman

The general population would agree that bringing a motor home into Manhattan is not the best idea of 2010. My grandfather, however, says this is the thing to do.

I am not sure if Manhattan-Motor-Home-Driving has ever been attempted but it is up for nomination as a new Olympic sport . . . right along-side the “push-the-ridiculous-disk-thing-on-the-ground-with-a-stick” sport, it is a horrible name they chose, I know. This driving extravaganza includes: driving the wrong way on a one-way street and an incredible parallel parking job and multiple-day-camp-out right in-front of our apartment. Thank you to security guard Nathanial who refuses all offers of cookies due to his recent weight loss. I like the people here.


So grandpa only hit one car. I would consider this a success. He also did it while driving the wrong way on a one-way, this is for bonus points. We were right next to a restaurant called “Covo’s” – a fantastic place with Dominicans and Italianos and everyone kissing and hugging, dating must get confusing amongst the staff there. Anyways they have salsa dancing Wednesday nights and I am interested to go. Someone said the Dominicans dance salsa like the Puerto Ricans...we shall see. If so, this includes the men spinning the women and being so focused on their own moves that they generally let go and potentially drop the women.

These last few days we have been furiously cleaning. “Furious” is not even strong enough. Grandma was put on bleach probation by aunt Beth when she used an entire bottle to clean the bathroom and suffered slight asphyxiation.

Grandma wore white for a reason...bleach queen!

After that and many “son of a bitch”s (pronounced fast as “son-va-bitch”) as grandpa’s catchy key phrase, almost as catchy as Reba, I had enough. We did what we could but then I called in housing. Prayed on it to calm down, but was thoroughly upset with housing. After visits, calls, and notes…housing has been amazing. I know nearly all of the maintenance staff in our building and what kind of Vodka our polish (I think?) painter likes.

 I can’t believe pre-health professionals lived like this.

Don't worry... Tanya and Marco in housing have been a huge blessing. We have a brand new dishwasher and stove.

Previously inhabited by M.D. pH.D. students who apparently fried everything – food, their books, cereal and the kitchen cabinets – I think their curriculum should include a cleaning course. Is Monavie religious? Hmm an infomercial is on.

In an effort to maintain integrity on the west coast - - I am going to continue the blog. What should I name it? Take the quick survey! The winner will escape future harassment via my blog =) Vote now- just click here!

To see all pictures of our trip- check out the next post ( it is a link to shutterfly =)

Day 10 – Thursday August 19, 2010

The Niagara Falls. I don’t usually start sentimental but I am going to.

I have been meditating on John 3:30 for the last few days – “He must become greater, I must become less.” When staring at the falls today from several angles….I couldn’t help but to reflect on this verse.

Incredible

 How big God is, it is not hard to acknowledge but it is difficult to live it. Introverted with no “me-time” to recharge over the last 10 days, I have become annoyed with mispronunciations of words, “GARMIN grandma not “Gramin!” I say in my head, indecisiveness even though I am notorious for being indecisive, and inexplicable happiness. Standing in front of those falls I realize how ridiculous my qualms and how I need to let God take-over my frustration. Really incredible. To me, the difference between joy and happiness is God. Happiness is temporary and fleeting, Joy is present amidst the hard times and the good times.

Love this picture of Uncle Sean and Grandpa G Man

Good times….”oh he’s a natural” gramps said…a WHAT?! .. grandma thought grandpa said “A**hole” hahah this was classic.

Anyways, today we went to a buffet. It was a success.

 I don’t know if anyone else thinks of all-you-can-eat situations in terms of success or failure. My criteria is this; leave feeling like I need to engage in hibernation and live off of my own body fat for a month and “just skip the next meal” to justify the gluttony = failure. Leave feeling content = success. This was a success…..UNTIL we stayed past breakfast, into lunch chatting and encountered my greatest fear - - an excellent dessert buffet. Soft-serve with skor bar...and some chocolate cake, crème brule, tiramisu, and various other baked goods were my downfall. However, any true buffet-er knows the backup emergency protocol – don’t drink any liquids. I followed this and left with a happy tummy and overall success. Phew.

After breakfast we went to see the falls via the ascendenator….yes that is what it was called. However we were going down a hill so I believe it should be referred to as the DEscendenator. This took us closer to the falls and to the land of the “-enators.” – favorites being the vacuminator and the impationator, strong resemblance to grandpa.

The Vacuminator

After the falls and hike up the hill the impationator..I mean grandpa insisted we see an IMAX even though that would put our ETA back and driving late at night. Even though the stuborninator, me, thought this was a horrible idea, it ended up being a great rest and way to learn about ridiculous crazy ladies who barricade themselves in barrels with a pillow, mattress, and magical color changing cat to challenge the falls. Is this what they did before Prozac?


We got to leavin about 3p.m. and drove right on into Buffalo “urine smell” New York. Feels like home. Going to dump the motorhome’s water and add fresh water and fuel, grandpa offered Beth a shower. I think this was a trick because, without telling her, he moved the motor home and I laughed hysterically thinking of enjoying a shower then being violently tossed out the gold lined accordion door - - not strong enough to support a person. Beth did, however, survive the move to later collaborate with grandma in finding a gun shop.

Although it didn’t actually exist, grandma and everyone are on a quest to get me a Taser. I figure just remind me of my bad grade on my biochem final and I could take out any threatening person no problem. Glycolysis, taser….similar.

Then we drove…for a long time. Stopping for dinner at a Cracker Barrel, I have decided that grits have officially been replaced with turnip greens in my mid-west-food-preference-list. Although I believe they too are doused in butter and oil ALSO with bacon, I warned Beth not to say anything so I could enjoy them in pretend ignorance. Bliss. Only 80 more miles to go and we will almost be there! Prayers for tomorrow would be greatly appreciated! Scheduled to sign the lease and move in, and organize a small riot upon refusal by hosing to re-paint and clean the bathroom. This is going to be interesting.

Drive on…

Day 9 – Wednesday August 18th 2010

Something happened. Along with all the time and zone changing…I seem to have lost an entire day or I got the date wrong yesterday as a side effect of motor home-hallucination. I guess, as they say in the Midwest, “I’ll tell you what….”


So today we drove from Lansing Michigan to Niagara Falls (Canada side) with three hitchhikers. Aunt Beth, Uncle Sean and this guy.

Sideways again...I know I know

As promised, we have a guest writer. Beeeeeeeeeeth Duncan! Come on out!

Star Date 2010. The captain has turned off the no smoking sign and we are free to move about the cabin. He has also cut the air conditioning to forced us to the water. The natives seem friendly but the captain seems guarded with multiple conflicting directions on how to deal with the natives. He seems to believe that the crew is naive and ended his evening with a hostile pontification about breaking and entering the motor home, women’s fashion know-how, and the poor quality of the day’s bread.

As reasonably expected the first mate skipper Linda “grandma” Giandomenico has kept a cool head, a calm sense of where the Canadian “ghettos” are and has continued to explore her tri-quarter “wrong-wrong” (tomtom)– a rogue navigation system. She appears to be continually lost while struggling with “wrong-wrong”.

While exploring planet Duncan located in Lansing MI, we experienced hostel life, new carpet, and tremendous muffins. One inhabitant of the Duncan crew 2010 was dropped off at the dog clinic. ( Brittany says - - odd, Beth and Sean’s child. Now I have been on the motor home for quite awhile but I am relatively certain kalona is a dog. Interesting genetics.)

We did four treacherous three-point-turns today with blind backing because of a broken rear back-up camera, several melt-downs remedied by keen communication skills ( Brittany: and the ever lingering question - - are we allowed to drink alcohol in the cab of the motor home while driving?) We met an angel, Christian, living at the Best Western at the falls who directed us to park and stay for just $3 - - you can’t beat that with a stick. The day culminated with a breathtaking walk to the falls of Niagara Canada. After Dark the safety belts of the RV came out with the captain’s failing eye-sight and an ever denied near turn into a ditch.

Focker out.

Okay I am taking over (Me Brittany) - - We walked to the falls at 1 am and they were amazing but what was more amazing was the fight that incurred with the RV’s kitchen table/bed vs. Grandpa/Beth/Sean/Grandma. I fell asleep standing in the doorway of the motor home avidly opposed to the conversion of the table into a bed because that just sounds ridiculous….the rest is a blur. Tomorrow I am determined to understand what it means when grandpa repeatedly says, “It’s all about the haves and the have-nots” - - not sure if it is being used in the wrong context but I am completely confused by this one.

Talk to you all tomorrow!

The new precaution at Niagara to prevent people from jumping/going by barrel down the falls: an ambiguous sign. Phew.

Day 8 – Tuesday August 18, 2010

I am never eating grits again. Oh and we found tires and wheels (rims? I don’t know what they call em)

So we entered Michigan today and despite the slow approach of the welcome to Michigan sign I said, “forget it,” to trying to take pictures of the welcome signs. Well, there were two signs so I figured I have no excuse for missing both and grandpa slowed down to about stopped and scolded me to get the picture.

Welcome to Michigan Sign # 2

I am feeling rather dimm-witted today. I don’t think that means what I think it does. So, anyways, grits. We became such good friends in such a short time but I didn’t realize what they were made of. After getting into town to pick up Aunt Beth and Uncle Sean, Bethy kindly informed me of the massive quantities of butter and oil that are used to make grits….great. I thought they were somewhat healthy yet lacking nutrients due to its corn base. Now that I know they are basically a bowl of saturated fat, they don’t taste quite as good. No wonder I was not hungry for the past three days. Deception and lies. Lesson: just because it tastes bland and healthy doesn’t mean it is not the equivalent of eating a Snickers bar, this is a universal truth.

FINALLY we found tires. I actually think we found all of the tires that the midwest owns in one shop. No wonder we couldn’t get anything. Huge blessing, right by Aunt Beth and Uncle Sean’s house. (sigh of relief) We also got the shocks re-wielded, after the guy on the phone insulted my geographic intelligence by adding to the address that it was located in the U.S….on planet Earth. Thank you. I have a Garmin so I already knew that.

Checking out the tires with coli

E. coli met aunty Beth and received a new “cillia”-do. She looks so pretty. Pretty E. coli!

Breast Cancer Oil Filters...I don't get it. 

Everybody loves a lil' E. coli ...

Tomorrow we will be headed off to Niagra Falls and perhaps the blog will have some speacial guest writers =)
Drive on….

Day 7 – Monday August 16, 2010

Missouri to Illinois to Indiana a.k.a. blow out number three. Front drivers side blew. Luckily, or so we thought, we were on an off ramp off the 70 east (exit 1) headed into Indiana. If you have never experienced a tire blow-out before, well, I hope your first is not in a 34-foot Vectra Winnebago 1994. In order to ever get help from AAA, I am finding they inadvertently require you to memorize every ridiculous thing about your vehicle. (Read aloud with mid-west twang at an unusually slow pace and imagine speaking this way to a stressed distraught Italian), “Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm yes, mmmkay. And whaat exactly is the interior like? Is it a, would you say, very plush RV? Mmmm I see. Can I place you on hold?” – 45 minutes for what seems to be their lunch break- “ Okkkkay mam, yes I have someone over thataway. They’ll be there … eventually. So you need help changing a tiiire? Oh. Hmmm I don’t know if they do that. How many lug-nuts are on there and what is the diameter in millimeters of each lug-nut?”

I mean COME ON! We just needed someone to help change the tire. Grandpa didn’t need to be cultivating his third heart attack and after the bacon grease basted fried eggs I couldn’t talk him out of this morning, looks like the cultivating had already begun. So a 52-year-old country boy arrived approximately two-weeks later. With chew pouched in his cheek and tobacco brown stains on his teeth and around the edges of his lips, he proceeded to speak in, what sounded, a foreign language. After dropping the motor home off of the jack, sitting back and watching my grandpa do the majority of the work, taking a tip from my grandpa and saying, “well was hoping for more than that,” and making ME call AAA for the PO code he needed for the job, he made the mistake of talking to this Italian. He said, “weeeel yea. Yous gonna have tah put that tiiiire in the RV to dump it. Over there maybe off highway 40 or I don’t know where.” (did I mention he guessed I was 30-years-old?)

I lost it.

Hands moving violently like a true passionate Italian with voice loud as I could with the adrenaline pumping I was ready to take someone out, I said, “You have GOT to be freeking kidding me. That tire is going in the back of your truck. We can’t even drive our RV hardly and you are making US dump it. I don’t think so. I don’t care. You figure it out. You are dumping it. We are NOT taking this. NO. This is ridiculous.”

It felt so good…until the end of the ordeal when he said…well mam I wish you good luck at school, and he proceeded to talk about some “wooly-wallet worm” that he lit up when he saw crawling on the ground. “yea – it is a woodfsld wallet.” …a what? Grandpa’s wallet? “A woolly woolet. Big yeller one. Oh he’s way under there naw. Means wes gonna have a bad winter.” Poor guy. I don’t think he was 100% there, or the Midwest just has some odd way of fixing cars and angry women. Anyways I got his name and license plate number. What? I’m from LA…. I also apologized for my outbreak. C’mon I am a lover not a fighter. 

Another Cross... it is upright in real life. I think this was Illinois?

Determined to drive from Indiana to Lansing Michigan, where Uncle Sean and Aunt Beth live, on a spare, we continued. After calling what seemed to be every auto supply and tire shop around I came to the realization that the Midwest doesn’t make any sense. NOBODY sold rims/wheels. Even the largest RV place in the Midwest, according to their announcements when put on hold, did not sell rims and wheels even though it said they did on their website. With that, I wasn’t surprised when Uncle Sean said their carpet didn’t come today as planned. This is probably because the carpet place doesn’t actually sell carpet. They might know a guy who could though but that shop might not be open because it is after five. Oh and they do have great grits though. Really. I am being honest here. I also discovered that I am, “no spring chicken anymore,” according to grandpa. I need to have some kids QUICK- I am feeling much less fertile now.

Grandpa also passes this on, “Always be sure to do everything right.” Eureka! Ok. We need to find some tires…or an ice-cream shop that sells metal so I can fashion something with the new tool equipment.

Ok. I am tired. I am done talking with you. Goodnight amazing friends fam

Sums it up

Day 6 – Sunday August 15, 2010

I don’t know how much more Dolly Parton in cassette form I can listen to … “silver and gold, time can’t be bought back with silver and gold.” I am not sure what her rhyme scheme is, but it is tragically catchy.

So last night, while camping in what I would consider a forest with an excellent wi-fi connection, I turned off the lights around 3 am to witness odd flashing outside the front window. Can there be lightning without thunder? I thought for certain that was it…or aliens. Both feasible so I decided to hide under the blankets like a true grown-up afraid of the dark. I am going to do well in New York.

Forrest creature

Here is the mysterious flashing forest in the day time

So it is the Sabbath - - in the Bible belt all the trusty Garmin found was Baptist, Christian, and Pentecostal churches. Grams and Gramps wanted Catholic. It has been a long time. I am used to Christian services and kind of felt ready, with all the grits I’ve been eating, for some good ‘ol Baptist gospel singing. I wonder if they serve grits in church as we praise the Lord with gospel…that would be amazing. We went to St. Jude church in St. Robert MO. I was shocked. The congregation was very diverse….and good looking but I have never seen so much plaid and stripes before!

On the way to Cracker Barrel for breakfast/lunch grandpa couldn’t figure out why people traveling in the opposite direction were flashing their high beams at him. Turns out we were traveling the wrong direction on a one-way-highway. Oops - -common mistake. Today’s grits mix in of choice - - baked apples in caramel.

Quick stopover at Lowe’s. A well needed break after driving a whole 20-miles. Finally got my hands on an incredible tape measure and the best news…I have found the perfect color combination. I was sad to see grandma’s dismal look on her face as I squealed with excitement that only coffee bean, vanilla bean, and green olive can elicit. She said ehhhh reminds me of the 70’s! “WHAT grandma!!!Wait consider the gold accent color.” Oh fiddlesticks…as she says…I am keeping my color combo!

So we drove a bit more and took another break after the next grueling 8-miles. grandpa stopped at a mule antique store. I have no idea about this nomenclature, but I have a strong aversion for antiques. Chomping on the 2-day-old huge gumball, we entered my nightmare. “A-las! They had the perfect King Arthur sword…just what I need for the apartment in New York. Forget pepper spray, I will carry a mid-evil sword. All I know is that I am thankful I had my tape measure to get the dimensions on this bad-boy!

Necessary

Driving into St. Louis….no I did not phonetically confuse it with “St. loueese” Sam haha, Finally a city reminiscent of LA; high-rises, crime, and all. The Arch is AMAZING! After trying to find a place to park and walking near the Mississippi towards it to get a picture, we passed by a big SUV being dusted for fingerprints. Turns out an officer from Iowa had his car broken into and his gun and other things stolen. As the 4th car broken into today, I felt bad for the guy but re-routed back for the motor home and figured I could find a picture of the Arch online but can’t replace all of my strategically chosen underwear.

Arches from afar....guarding my underwear

I believe this is the MLK bridge over the Mississippi River

We drove more, ate stuff and here I am falling asleep. Again there is an odd light outside of the front window, but this time it is the comforting glow of the Wal-Mart sign in the Illinois sky. Good night all - - no more Chiggers to worry about. Sometimes I love concrete. … Drive on…

Day 5 – Saturday August 14th, 2010

I want to own a cavern. Think anyone is giving one away on craigslist? I actually asked a guy this in MO and he looked up and to the left, universal thinking position, and was actually thinking about any caverns he knew of that might be up for grabs. We went to the Fantastic Caverns today - - $21 per person, essentially no overhead (except for the stalagtites), and while waiting for the tour you are stuck in a gift shop to become unnecessarily attracted to colored rocks and stuff made out of onyx for sale. I have never felt the need to pay for rocks so badly. This business venture is genius.

Above Is the sign for the Fantastic Caverns. Below...grandpa thinking criticallyabout the proper Onyx egg shaped paper weight. This is CRITICAL...as he says =)

Stalagmites, Stalagtites, Columns...and Indiana Jones

Ok re-wind. I am going to explain who E. coli is. It is the little stuffed animal featured in some of the pictures. It is actually a ciliated bacteria, not an animal. It is just for novelty, pun, humor… I have had some word of confusion…just go with it haha =) (p.s. thank you Sam - - I am glad I assumed E. coli was meant as a gift for me…I still am not sure if it was supposed to be for your sister!)

I couldn’t wake up this morning. Go figure – today’s devotional read, “Excessive sleep causes the downfall of many plans.” I was planning on waking up early to go for a run and have some quiet time. God’s timing hahah.

This morning we had breakfast at the waffle house…I had grits. Our server was Inge from Germany. . . she said living in OK is like “living anywhere else.” Phew - - glad we summed that one up! She was great. I have actually come to notice that people out in these parts often don’e know the answer to things and are okay with that. In LA or NY if they don’t know - - instantly they pull out an iPhone, PDA, Blackberry, small computer, pocket size Einstein and find the answer. While I knew the average house price and interest rate on 30-year home loans at age 12, here we asked and got responses like, “you know, I don’t own a house. Don’t know.” Then a kind smile and awkward silence as we waited for them to pull out their iPhone. Nope. Content….content to not know. So very different. So, back to grits, while I ate mine with ridiculous things mixed in - - apple butter, eggs, bacon, the town’s German lady - - Uncle David gave me this recipe to try “with grits, have a poached egg over them with some crumpled up bacon bits and country ham and lots of butter.” Will have to try that. I think I am living nearly completely on butter at this point. Anyone have any other ideas for grits, legitimate ideas, let me know!

So we drove on. . . as we went into MO my grandma started talking about “chiggars”. What grandma!!?? Is this trip full of racial slurs?! Well, despite popular belief, “chiggars” are not half asian half black people…rather bugs that bite and create insatiable itchiness. According to the lady in the MO welcome center, who won’t have wi-fi for 6 months, I just need to “warsh” after being in the forest. I am not entirely sure what she meant by that, but if I come across any chiggars I am going to figure out how to “warsh” ASAP!

Before going into the caverns today, I figured we should eat, just in-case we were to get stuck inside of the caverns and have to rely on body fat to sustain us. While sitting at a 45 degree angle, motorhome was parked on a hill, we began munching on left-over chinese food. I have discovered that grandpa says at least one really unintentionally funny thing per day. So I was trying to finish this horrific whipped cream pie today and as I was about to dip my grapes into the whipped cream, grandpa says, “NO! Don’t EVER put grapes in your pie!” hahah I didn’t know grape-ing pie was such a common offense! Needless to say, I had created another delicious food combination that everyone was enjoying. Meanwhile I found the world’s smallest grape. This was in-contrast to the world’s largest gumball that I found yesterday at Wal-mart.

Largest Gumball....

Itty Bitty grape! Cutest lil thing! ... it is going on my grits tomorrow!

At Wal-mart, grandpa says, “oh these prices are low! These rollback things are the new thing.”…while following behind, he reaches out Vanah White style and says, “we have a roll-back here!” hahah oh grandpa…it was completely unintentional humor.

Okay, I am done talking with you. (hahah Uncle Sean I am stealing this line!) night night have a marvelous day tomorrow! Drive on…

Day 4 - Friday August 13th 2010

I don’t have a consistent date/title - - this is something that bothers me.

So New Mexico doesn’t look like Texas but Texas looks like Oklahoma and I can’t take a picture of a welcome sign if it hit me on the head. You know you are in Texas when the road kill are armadillos and there is a lady mowing her lawn in a sit-down with a cold beverage. Okay, debatable question - - Amarillo Texas. Is it pronounced “amari-L-o” or “amar-ee-o” (like the Spanish word for yellow)?

Today started with a sewage pipe repair. I finally got my hands on some needle-nose pliers…it was glorious. Then breakfast in Tucumacari at a brand-new Denny’s. You know, you think they are all the same until your oatmeal comes out salty.

Today went very smooth-I can’t actually remember anything. I wish I owned a phone company.

Reading devotional - - an obscure proverb “The path of life leads upward for the wise to keep him from going down to the grave.” (Prov 15:24) … I enjoy John 14:26 “But the counselor , the holy spirit, … will teach you all things and will reminds you of everything I have said to you.”

In Texas even Jesus is bigger ;) hehe kidding

Met a couple, Cynda and Tom…go figure…my grandpa Tom and Grandma Linda, today in Oklahoma at a chinese restaurant where we stopped for dinner. They were very shocked to meet Christians from California. They said they didn’t think they existed- - not in a demeaning way but the view of CA from elsewhere in the U.S. is not, what I am finding, how we Californians see it…well duh, that is probably obvious. Anyways, they were telling us about their granddaughter Mallory, 5 years old fighting neuroblastoma. Thank you Dr. Drath for biology of cancer, I was able to understand the alternative treatment they were trying on her. Anyways, before she was positively diagnosed, at age three, she was walking with her mom and grandma to have a scan done. She stopped, looked up to her grandma and said, “gamma, someone in my head told me I am not going to die.” Two years later, tumors disappearing inexplicably, the stage-4 neuroblastoma is in remission. Relying on an alternative treatment to essentially supercharge her killer T-cells….she is considered a miracle. Wow. Chills. God works in mysterious ways.

Good night all….drive on…or as my Uncle Sean says… “I am done talking with you.” =)

little E. coli and I trying out loungers...this was a nice one :)

Day 3 - August 12th 2010

Thursday...I have no concep of date or time anymore...it is like being in Las Vegas...which we passed in NM..hm..no Cesars Palace or flashy lights - just fields and cows.

I am going to cut you guys some slack. I realize that the last post was a short novel. (p.s. just saw that I could add links so checkout the ones below - I am not a tech-tard! Well I don't know if these will work...we shall see.)


Have a great day! … haha ok kidding I can’t keep it that brief! Day three started, well, not so early in the Wal-Mart parking lot in Gallup NM. Can I say that google maps street view is not always accurate. This was a very nice Wal-Mart, pic didn’t do it justice.

However, grandpa said, “This place is so strange that even the [shopping] cart took a pee!” - - as the go-back carts sat with one dripping an ominous mixture of bologna and oj juice. – I was laughing so hard I couldn’t stop - - didn’t expect Grandpa to say that. (p.s. grandpa reminisces about his grand 70th b-day party every day! He had a blast - - so happy his siblings got up and spoke!!) So after getting invited to a 3-day Navajo Indian tribal ceremony by a local…don’t ask, we went to sleep (that was on the 11th pm)

Wal-Mart in the not-so-early grandpa and lil coli successfully repaired part of the motor home (is motorhome one word or two? Anyone?) plumbing that had been violently ripped off by the tire blowout.

E. coli clearly did most of the work...forget the value of phalanges =) I kidd ... grandpa is amazingly mechanical!

Pops also picked out a fabulous tool kit for me from Home Depot…I never imagined I would be so excited for socket wrenches! I need to wrench something!!..is that not a verb?

Today’s devotional was titled “Quit Complaining.” Love this - - our words have the ability to really build others up or break them down or ruin a good time. Essential to a road trip I think =) Amy how did you know this devotional would be so applicable! “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or course joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” (Ephesians 5:4) - - Few words, Kind words, Honest words….I think that is what pastor Tony Wood said, or maybe I made that up…
I’ll tell you what I am thankful for: grits, God, wi-fi, and “homemade” banana splits from Indian Casinos build in a tent. First time trying grits. They were good, which I did not expect. But, leave it to my genius food combinations to be eating grits on my bananas and yogurt…still surprisingly good.

Sorry. I realize this is sideways but I have a mini lap-top with limited time and wi-fi ... just turn your head to the right... there perfect.

Driving into somewhere in NM, I think that was the name, we found an Indian Casino that appeared to be a large blow-up-tent. Thank you Allex for clarifying that this is only an “infant-stage-casino” - - I thought they were just trying to maintain cultural tradition by gambling in a wigwam, it seemed consistent with the tepee shaped churro building we passed in Tucumcari NM (Tuclksdfklsjdlk NM is just passed somewhere NM for geographic consistency). Anyways the tent infant casino had the best “homemade” banana split ever. I didn’t know what the waitress meant by “homemade” – the ice cream was not homemade – she clarified… “oh it is hand-made fresh”… what?! I was furious and hoping for a 3-day-old foot-made banana split. Although I will never quite understand what she meant by that, the banana split was excellent and grandpa walked in shortly after grandma and I decided we should not wake him for this sweet treat…you know it just isn’t healthy so we would take care of it….haha Grandpa always knows when there is good food =) Then he proceeded to eat spoonfuls of hot fudge. So we left…I poked the tent-building…it only seemed right..it was so strange.

Getting ready to start day 4 – Texas here we come – where are you Yvette?! …enJOY life (someone I know says!) …ps anyone see the meteor shower !? Go figure in NM RV park too much ambient light to see anything. …. Drive on!

Day 2 -August 11, 2010 NM

Today I was thoroughly impressed when little E. coli learned to change an RV tire – double blow out baby. Okay but I am sure you don’t want to hear about that…not like it was life threatening on the side of the 40 headed East barely on the shoulder, mid-day = hot heat, no cell reception, AAA (no comment), and UFO s …. Okay I added the last one.

I would like to take a quick break to apologize.

My phone etiquette has been horrendous. If you have called me and I have: a) said I would call you back but failed to do so. B) had a conversation with you then started talking about shrapnel or hitting flying bats at night or asking my amazing grandma a question essential to the 300-mile-a-day mission. C) not text you back OR D) not returned a secondary to you yet….if you are a med school – I am EXTREEMLY sorry. I am a stickler, generally, for phone etiquette but I am sitting in the seat-of-the-navigator … wait secondaries have nothing to do with phones…never mind. Anyways, I am sorry and I still care about you VERRY much and hope you don’t forget about me when I am ≥ 3 states away! Please keep in touch!

So this morning I had a great quiet time outside on the bench in AZ. My daily devotional –really enjoying Joyce Myer Amy thank you- talks about praying without ceasing with one of my favorite Bible verses in Proverbs – “trust in the Lord your God, Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.” So..with all the hectic vacationing lately ( Las Vegas, the Mexican Riviera Cruise, NY- Blessed but exhausted) I have had a hard time just remembering that God is always here – watching and waiting – so my prayer request for myself was help with this….hah God is funny. He answered almost immediately but I will be exponentially more clear next time haha.

All packed up and showered, about 20 miles on the road and about 20 miles from our chosen breakfast spot…Blow out – poop. No…not like “poop” … I said “poop” …wasn’t expecting that. On the phone with approximately all of the AAA phone folks that exist in Arizona. It was not an efficient process to say the least. So finally…..about 3 hours later and one stopper by (I know we were overwhelmed with disbelief that a man was so kind to stop and see if we needed any help or water) a truck comes…that is not equipped to change tires….haha that is great. But with my grandpa’s mechanical abilities and the fact that this motor home is packed with enough tools to build a new motor home, they got the job done. E. coli was enjoying the warm weather and learning but unhappy in the dry environment that differs from her ideal moist environment. Okay , by “got it done” I mean we put on a spare (one spare where there was once two tires) for the mean time to drive to the phantom “Big E Tire” that didn’t exist at the next exit…thanks again AAA. 20..miles..no..40…no…finally 60 miles driving a 34 foot motor home on what appears to be a bicycle tire…let me tell you….I was praying without ceasing. Got that one Lord! Working on more adjectives for my next prayer request =)

At one of the stop-offs where we sought help – middle of nowhere I had a moment. Wow…we are blessed. He asked if we needed a phone book…and I said … “ a what? Oh no that…I have a Garmin” … then I thought…maybe the simple life is the true blessing…since I was still not done ceasing with the praying…no more blow outs…I thought of the verse…”it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.” I am by no means rich, but have enough “stuff” going on to be distracted more often than I would like to admit from the important things in life… family, friends, loving those around me and even God. What do you think?

Winslow AZ near grand canyon city – 5 pm $1,145.00 breakfast. This is where the tires were purchased and put on. We got all 4 back tires to avoid the same situation. We finally got breakfast … but it was dinner time. It is all part of the adventure =) and the tires cost a pretty penny - $210 each plus labor. This place was so cool. Proud to be an American – had the LARGEST American flag I have ever seen.

 Flying high and proud. The people were so kind. Walking back from dinner er breakfast to the repair shop my grandma informed me that this town even had a “Road-eh-o” and gramps warned me to watch out for the “cow-monkeys” … what? I am not in LA! Sign ahead read “Rodeo” misunderstanding and my foot was hovering above a horse dropping or also known as a “cow-pucky”… not a genetically engineered animal splicing together cows and monkeys. I was a little bit disappointed, sure.

Ah – what a day. Sleep soon then tomorrow – drive on. Don’t worry God I am still praying…I will try to do a better job and pray more specifically next time about how I am in need of help. Grandpa just said the front tires may be scraping sheet metal….um, is that normal?

P.S. wal-mart stop one- I need to put together a basic tool kit for when E. coli and I get to NY…anyone have recommendations as to what I will need for basic repairs and furniture assembly? Sleep tight all – we are fortunate – whatever way you splice it or pronounce it!

California to Arizona - Day One

Thank you so much everyone for being such a great support. E. coli and I are so very grateful for such incredible people! Okay so this blog will chronicle our - Grandpa and Grandma Giandomenico, my (Brittany - writing on behalf of my bacterial friend E. coli ...hah), and E. coli's trip across the United States...potentially a small bit of Canada if all goes as planned...yes planned. We have potential guests joining us in Michigan too!... real people not any kind of other microbe or inanimate object.

Day one - We got off to a bit of a late start... 3 ish... grandma and grandpa had a beer before we left and I had a panic attack. Packing an entire room of a female is an emotional/physical/spiritual battle. Goes something like this. (beginning of packing) "Oh yes I will need that huge oversize ugly jacket for when it gets really cold inside the apartment in NY in winter because I wouldn't actually wear it outside-pack it." (Fast forward to a full-RV and two huge boxes packed for UPS.) "Crap, there is MORE manicure items in this cupboard....AMY take it. That jewelry, all my underwear, blankets - - not essential someone take it. Jason that dress would look great on you." Well we managed to get it all in there with help. My mom, Jojo's, ability to ignore spacial reasoning yet succeed in packing way to much in very small spaces, my dad, Rob's, large upper belly strength to "shove" people and things beyond natural stress points, Jason trusting me to drive the truck. Hah-mistake. Ana dusting while holding my beautiful baby sister. Sam's really nice shoes- grandma made me lay down on the concrete as a mat so he could load the under-belly compartment of the motor home without scuffing his clean white kicks. I think it worked ;) Sarah for taking all of the - purses, clothing, jewelry, and... clay that I could not pack. Enjoy them beautiful girl! All the friends texting and stopping by to say goodbye- so amazing and blessed to have incredible people like YOU in my life... and Linda, our beautiful neighbor in San Dimas, who came by mid-panic attack with some beautiful singing stress-balls. Good timing Linda! - RV's orifices haha. What?! I had to keep the ugly brown jacket in the chance it is cold inside the RV.

So anyways - we took the 57 to the 210 then called it a night... I kid - Grandma will physically not allow grandpa to stop the RV without driving at least 300 miles. So we continued to the 15 and now we are camped out someplace in Arizona off the 40East. Get this - Grandpa has me navigating. This is a good gauge of the trip considering I get lost in the city I have lived in for 23 years. No biggie - I can navigate the U.S. Quick recap because we need to eat soon - Taking to Dawna on the phone and we hear a "pop" - alright blow out? So we pull off ... no blow out but it is about 150 degrees-perfect to clean the review mirrors. Saw a gas station with showers - amazing. They also had more flavors of black coffee than I thought existed - who knew the people of Havasu were so sophisticated...it was located right next to the "beer cave".

Stopped for dinner at the "Cracker Barrel" - is this a racial slur? Grandma and Grandpa laughed as I asked this question - I later found out they didn't know "cracker" was what some call white people. I am not sure what was funny about that then? Anyways the food was amazing - grilled fish with green beans baby carrots and a corn muffin. I also may have purchased some snacks for my loved ones. Don't worry E. coli had her hands, er cilia, all over the task to find the most appropriate snack for some of my favorite people....guess which is yours (if there is no picture I will add one...eventually)

Amazing quiet time this morning - ran around the motor home park about 10 times then did some abs arms and booty workouts. Going to cling to this one on the trip - Psalms 121 "I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does me help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip- he who watches over you will not slumber; ...the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night."

E. coli and I are very excited -  Time for breakfast and to start the adventures of day number two....I love you mom! Don't be sad....just think the handle on the fridge won't be sticky anymore from my eating antics at midnight including the stickiest food I can find =) You better be using the mug I got you!!!Wait...I have to say this...tv is on and I am in a state of confusion - you can buy a "booty-pop" pants that already have a butt for those who don't have one...? I think this just MIGHT be a suitable rival for the ominous snuggie.

Have an amazing day everyone - cherish and savor each and every moment. Drive on.