Day 5 – Saturday August 14th, 2010

I want to own a cavern. Think anyone is giving one away on craigslist? I actually asked a guy this in MO and he looked up and to the left, universal thinking position, and was actually thinking about any caverns he knew of that might be up for grabs. We went to the Fantastic Caverns today - - $21 per person, essentially no overhead (except for the stalagtites), and while waiting for the tour you are stuck in a gift shop to become unnecessarily attracted to colored rocks and stuff made out of onyx for sale. I have never felt the need to pay for rocks so badly. This business venture is genius.

Above Is the sign for the Fantastic Caverns. Below...grandpa thinking criticallyabout the proper Onyx egg shaped paper weight. This is CRITICAL...as he says =)

Stalagmites, Stalagtites, Columns...and Indiana Jones

Ok re-wind. I am going to explain who E. coli is. It is the little stuffed animal featured in some of the pictures. It is actually a ciliated bacteria, not an animal. It is just for novelty, pun, humor… I have had some word of confusion…just go with it haha =) (p.s. thank you Sam - - I am glad I assumed E. coli was meant as a gift for me…I still am not sure if it was supposed to be for your sister!)

I couldn’t wake up this morning. Go figure – today’s devotional read, “Excessive sleep causes the downfall of many plans.” I was planning on waking up early to go for a run and have some quiet time. God’s timing hahah.

This morning we had breakfast at the waffle house…I had grits. Our server was Inge from Germany. . . she said living in OK is like “living anywhere else.” Phew - - glad we summed that one up! She was great. I have actually come to notice that people out in these parts often don’e know the answer to things and are okay with that. In LA or NY if they don’t know - - instantly they pull out an iPhone, PDA, Blackberry, small computer, pocket size Einstein and find the answer. While I knew the average house price and interest rate on 30-year home loans at age 12, here we asked and got responses like, “you know, I don’t own a house. Don’t know.” Then a kind smile and awkward silence as we waited for them to pull out their iPhone. Nope. Content….content to not know. So very different. So, back to grits, while I ate mine with ridiculous things mixed in - - apple butter, eggs, bacon, the town’s German lady - - Uncle David gave me this recipe to try “with grits, have a poached egg over them with some crumpled up bacon bits and country ham and lots of butter.” Will have to try that. I think I am living nearly completely on butter at this point. Anyone have any other ideas for grits, legitimate ideas, let me know!

So we drove on. . . as we went into MO my grandma started talking about “chiggars”. What grandma!!?? Is this trip full of racial slurs?! Well, despite popular belief, “chiggars” are not half asian half black people…rather bugs that bite and create insatiable itchiness. According to the lady in the MO welcome center, who won’t have wi-fi for 6 months, I just need to “warsh” after being in the forest. I am not entirely sure what she meant by that, but if I come across any chiggars I am going to figure out how to “warsh” ASAP!

Before going into the caverns today, I figured we should eat, just in-case we were to get stuck inside of the caverns and have to rely on body fat to sustain us. While sitting at a 45 degree angle, motorhome was parked on a hill, we began munching on left-over chinese food. I have discovered that grandpa says at least one really unintentionally funny thing per day. So I was trying to finish this horrific whipped cream pie today and as I was about to dip my grapes into the whipped cream, grandpa says, “NO! Don’t EVER put grapes in your pie!” hahah I didn’t know grape-ing pie was such a common offense! Needless to say, I had created another delicious food combination that everyone was enjoying. Meanwhile I found the world’s smallest grape. This was in-contrast to the world’s largest gumball that I found yesterday at Wal-mart.

Largest Gumball....

Itty Bitty grape! Cutest lil thing! ... it is going on my grits tomorrow!

At Wal-mart, grandpa says, “oh these prices are low! These rollback things are the new thing.”…while following behind, he reaches out Vanah White style and says, “we have a roll-back here!” hahah oh grandpa…it was completely unintentional humor.

Okay, I am done talking with you. (hahah Uncle Sean I am stealing this line!) night night have a marvelous day tomorrow! Drive on…